What is Shibari?

Guest Blogger: Coffee & Kink

Do you fantasize about tying up a partner or getting tied up yourself (or both?). Bondage is one of the most common sexual fantasies, so you’re in good company if it appeals to you. 

In this post, we will do an in-depth look into the art of Shibari. You’ll learn about what it is and why people are into it, the different roles you can take on, some of the potential risks and safety concerns to be aware of, and how to get started safely. 

What is Shibari and is it the Same as Kinbaku?

Shibari is a type of rope bondage. Shibari is a Japanese word that means “tying” or “binding”, but has come to refer specifically to a contemporary form of Japanese and Japanese-inspired rope bondage. In a nutshell, it’s all about tying up consenting partners for pleasure and enjoyment. 

Shibari typically refers to ties that are designed to be beautiful as well as functional. The focus is not just on restraining the person, but also on displaying the body and using intricate rope patterns to create aesthetic appeal.

Hemp and jute are the most common materials used for Shibari rope, though you’ll also see ropes made of other natural materials such as cotton, linen and bamboo as well as manmade fibres such as nylon, polyester, and synthetic hemp/hempex. You can learn more about the different types of rope and their pros and cons here. 

Shibari is now very popular in the Western BDSM and kink communities as well as in Japan, and entire subcultures and communities have sprung up around this art. 

Kinbaku (literally “tight binding”) is another word you might hear used in the rope bondage scene. In fact, this term is now more commonly used in Japan. 

The exact differences between Shibari and Kinbaku–and indeed whether there is a difference at all–are subjects of some debate. In practice, though, they broadly refer to the same thing. According to leading UK-based rigger WykD Dave, the two terms–as well as various others that some practitioners use–are not “contradictions, but preferences of expression” and there is no real problem with using either or both terms. 

What is a “Rigger” in BDSM and What is a “Rope Bunny”?

In BDSM and Shibari, a rigger is the person who does the tying. They might also be called a rope Top or a rope Dominant. 

“Rope bunny” is a colloquial term for a person who enjoys getting tied up. They might also be called a rope bottom, rope submissive, or rope model. 

Some people enjoy both roles. These people are known as switches. 

It is also worth noting that, though most Shibari scenes consist of at least one Top or rigger and at least one bottom or bunny, some people also tie themselves. Self-tying can be a way to practice Shibari techniques without a partner, but it can also be fulfilling and pleasurable in and of itself. Some people also self-tie for artistic purposes, e.g. as performance art or to take photographs. 

Why Are People Into Shibari?

As with any kink or sexual act, people are into Shibari for a wide variety of reasons. 

Many rope bottoms find it relaxing or meditative to be in rope, finding a kind of peaceful and floaty sensation that they may call “ropespace” or subspace. They may enjoy getting to feel taken care of by their rigger or Dominant. Conversely, a rope Top may enter a kind of hyperfocus or flow state while they tie. 

Rope can be aesthetically enjoyable, can create or evoke a strong emotional connection between partners, and can be a fun way to play with intense sensations. Many rope Tops enjoy the feeling of being in charge or in control, while many rope bottoms enjoy feeling overpowered or surrendering control. 

Rope is also versatile. It can be gentle or challenging, sexual or platonic, sweet or intense. For those with a sadomasochistic streak, rope can offer opportunities to inflict or experience pain. 

Some people also do rope as a form of performance or to create erotic and/or artistic content such as photos. 

The more interesting question is, why are you into Shibari? 

Is Shibari Sexual?

Sometimes, but not necessarily.

Many people do combine Shibari with sex in all kinds of ways, from the “tie them up and fuck them” school of bondage through to activities like forced orgasm play. Others find Shibari sexually arousing or erotically charged but may not always want their Shibari scenes to lead to sexual activity. And some separate the two entirely. Even some people who identify as sex-repulsed asexual may enjoy BDSM activities such as Shibari. 

For many people, the relationship between Shibari and sex is somewhat circumstantial. Some people might be sexual with certain rope partners and do purely non-sexual Shibari with others. It can also vary day to day, scene to scene, or depending on factors such as location (for example, some rope play spaces do not allow sexual activity due to venue rules, licensing, or local laws.) 

It’s all a matter of personal preference, and all interpretations of Shibari–sexual and non-sexual alike–are equally valid as long as they are undertaken with informed consent. 

Is Shibari Safe?

Like most BDSM activities, Shibari carries some inherent level of risk. 

How risky Shibari is depends, to some extent, on what types of ties you choose to do. Purely decorative harnesses that are loosely tied, or simple ties purely for the purposes of restraint during sex, are unlikely to carry much risk as long as you exercise some basic common sense. If the person is held in a strenuous position, unable to move without assistance, or significant pressure or force is being exerted, the risk is higher. 

Nerve damage is by far the biggest risk of most Shibari activities, and can be cumulative over time. Warning signs for nerve damage include numbness, tingling, and pain. This tutorial is an excellent primer on nerve issues in Shibari. 

Loss of circulation, positional asphyxia or breathing difficulties, muscle pulls or strains, and falls and fainting are just some of the other risks associated with Shibari. 

The level of risk increases significantly if you decide to do suspensions, or lifting people off the floor in rope. Suspension places a significant strain on the body, increasing the risk of nerve damage. If you do not know what you are doing, there is also the risk of dropping your partner. Equipment failures during suspensions can be catastrophic, too, so you will need to learn how to select, check, and maintain your equipment properly. 

If you are going to do Shibari, it is important to learn how to do it properly. In the next section, we will look at the best ways to get into learning rope bondage. 

As a rigger, monitor your partner closely, keep checking in, and take them out of the ropes immediately if something doesn’t seem right. As a rope bottom, speak up if you experience any worrying sensations such as pain, tingling, numbness, or light headedness, and communicate any physical limitations or boundaries to your partner before and during your scene. 

Never leave a bound person alone, never put rope around the neck, never tie someone up with household items such as silk scarves or cable ties, and always have a cutting tool to hand. A cutting tool allows you to free your partner from rope quickly by cutting the ropes if necessary. Most riggers use EMT shears, single-use scissors which allow you to cut rope away from the body without harming the person. These are available cheaply from Amazon or medical suppliers as well as many BDSM retailers. 

It is also important to be aware of emotional and psychological safety and check in with yourself and your partner after a Shibari scene. Many people experience a phenomenon known as sub drop or Dom drop, which can result in feeling emotionally low and exhausted in the hours or days after a session. 

In short: no, Shibari can never be truly “safe.” However, with a little knowledge it is possible to mitigate many of the risks and have fun 

How Can I Get Into Shibari?

Online resources like Shibari Study, Bondage Tuition and The Duchy provide written and video resources from reputable rope teachers, showing you how to tie properly and safely. These types of resources offer an accessible entry point to new rope enthusiasts. Just grab some rope and a cutting tool, your partner (or a tailor’s dummy or your own leg!) and have a go. Once you have some basic rope knowledge down, they are also a great way to learn some new and interesting ties. 

However, there is no substitute for in-person tuition. Use Fetlife to find rope classes, peer rope events, or reputable private tutors near you.

If you find you enjoy Shibari, there is no end of things to learn. The best riggers and rope bottoms alike embrace Shibari as a continual journey where there are always new things to discover about rope, about kink, and about themselves.